a podcast about caring too much
hosted by jen ponton + lillian bustle

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It's spOoOoOoky Halloween! Jen + Lillian prepare for a weekend of candy and frights, sharing some of their best horrific recommendations and diving into the Jezebel Halloween archives once more. Don't forget your night light!
Crawl into our blanket fort, and don't forget your flashlight--because tonight, Jen + Lillian are telling you some truly mortifying tales from all across New York! From questionable theatre in the village to a city slicker dude ranch in New Paltz, we share some particularly cringe-worthy diary entries (before the lights go out and we tell you ghost stories!). But the scariest one of all? Why, a house full of Gary Busey, of course. 
It’s October! And you know what that means—putting off dentist visits, perpetually remembering and then forgetting that you hate candy corn, and listening to Jen + Lillian tell you stories that rob you of your precious sleep. This week, we spin you a tale of the skinwalkers of Virginia, ne’erdowell maintenance men, and just how brainwashy LuLaRoe had to be to convince anyone that those dresses were cute.
It's October, and you know what that means, fuckbuddies--time to get spoOoOoOky with Jen + Lillian! We have some thrilling stories just for you--but in this calm before the storm, enjoy the last beautiful, ethereal installment of Francesca Lia Block's NECKLACE OF KISSES. 
Today, we’re going to tell you about—hey wait, did you see this true crime special? What about this epic cult takedown? Surely you must have seen the multi-level marketing miniseries?! Jen + Lillian get sidelined by so much good television and strange cinema it will make your head spin, along with the return of Broadway, champion ferrets, and the unfortunate intimacy of a dog sneeze.
Jen + Lillian are all in their feelings today, so we’re taking you back to the Pink Hotel for some more adventures with Weetzie Bat. But before we do, we explore the insidiousness of sex cults, tinkling when you sneeze, and—can we just talk about the missed opportunity that is LULA RUH-ROH?
118. All the Shitshows: Let Jen + Lillian take you behind the velvet curtain today for a backstage pass to some of our cringiest theatre memories! From unlicensed musical snafus, to tyrannical directors, to giant dancing vulvas—we regret it all, fuck buddies. Encore, encore!
117. All the Trash Monsters: Jen + Lillian whisk you back to pink smoggy Los Angeles to continue Francesca Lia Block's NECKLACE OF KISSES. But before we do, can we just talk about horror comedy and why it is the perfect genre? Unrelated, currently seeking looms in gently used condition. Inquire within!

116. All the Terrible Accents: Jen + Lillian return to magical, mythical Los Angeles in Francesca Lia Block's Necklace of Kisses--but not before we dive into our most bingeworthy series, smoothies for every mood, and the merits of erotic cake sitting. Aired September 4, 2021.

115. All the Theatre Gays: Good Morning, Bayonne! Today, Jen + Lillian are bubbling over with excitement to introduce today's special guest--Nikki Blonsky, star of HAIRSPRAY! To us, Nikki is family. Not only because she's from Long Island (but yes), not only because she's a plus-size entertainer (but heck yes), not only because she's a queer femme (but absofrigginlutely yes). Nikki opens her heart with us, sharing stories about theatre, Thanksgiving, and the glorious way she came out. Aired August 26, 2021.

114. All the Flying Garters: Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue... (and it just might be your cousin Rhonda’s eyeshadow.) There’s no telling what memories you’ll make at a wedding! Today, Jen + Lillian revisit the most iconic weddings of their lives: the opulent, the dramatic, and the downright bizarre. So toss back another Irish coffee and Electric Slide into our mobbed up banquet hall! August 19, 2021.

113. All the Teenage Fairies: Join Jen + Lillian in the ultimate fairy garden—a gossamer pink shining oasis where punk rock lives, mermaids splash, and kisses are pure magic. Today, we are joined by our muse and hero, Francesca Lia Block—author of the Weetzie Bat books and countless other stories of girls finding their spark in Los Angeles. (Yes, this is a dream come true, and no, we are not okay.) Aired August 12, 2021.

112. All the Mermaid Kisses: In preparation for next week's Very Special Guest, Jen + Lillian once again venture into the punk rock fairy dreamscape of Weetzie Bat with Francesca Lia Block's follow-up novel, NECKLACE OF KISSES. We revisit Weetzie older, now a mother of two grown girls, and how she finds her magic again when all feels lost. Aired August 5, 2021.

111. All the Oopsie-Daisies: Welcome back, fuck buddies! Jen + Lillian are back from summer break with stories galore—today, we’re talking accidents, emergencies, and just your average run-of-the-mill mayhem. So cozy up to the edge of your seat, dial 9-1-, and watch out for rogue banana peels... Aired July 29, 2021.

110. All the Queer Pride: It's June, and your queer, rad hostesses with the mostesses are ready to celebrate what Pride means to us! Jen + Lillian reflect on the authenticity dam that coming out breaks through, and the wonderous, magical experience of getting to know yourself all over again. (CW/TW: Sexual assault around the 59m mark.) Aired June 17, 2021.

109. All the Bitchin' Babysitters: Growing up, the only thing cooler than a cool mom was a cool aunt. From our parents' contemporaries to very worldly 13-year-olds, Jen + Lillian glommed onto mentors of all stripes: sweet librarians, brassy broads with loud lipstick, and ultra-queer Girl Scout Camp counselors. You are the sum of your parts! Aired June 10, 2021.

108. All the ̷H̷a̷u̷n̷t̷e̷d̷ Hoarded Houses: If you feel the need to declutter or tidy while listening to this episode--we don't blame you. Today, Lillian dollops Jen on hoarding disorder--an underreported, stigmatized, misunderstood mental health condition with no successful treatment plan at this time. Lillian shares her story of growing up in an increasingly chaotic and hoarded home full of labyrinthine piles, long-dead appliances, and endless Dollar Store detritus. As ever, we find grace in the heartache. Aired June 3, 2021.

107. All the Naughty Clowns: Pull out your black lipstick and pearls, because today, Jen + Lillian do the Time Warp with our guest, celebrated boylesque legend, Viktor Devonne! Viktor indulges us with stories of his Step-By-Step TGIF family, years spent in the Rocky Horror circuit, and being an all-around pop culture whiz kid. Aired May 27, 2021.

106. All the Oral [Surgery]: There's plenty to dish about today as Jen + Lillian delve into the rampant fatphobia rearing its ugly head as the world prepares to reopen. From Broadway to the boardroom, we make the case for a hard reset on our toxic diet culture... preferably spearheaded by the world's greatest smack-talker: Ice-T. We also share mortifying and delicious stories about calcified grudges, riding in cars with boys, and exactly how to tease out dental mesh while stripping. Aired May 13, 2021.

105. All the Peeping Toms: With herd immunity a lifetime away, Jen + Lillian look to spinetingling tales as terrifying distractions! Get under the covers with us (and don't forget your flashlights) as we spin thrilling yarns of too-friendly neighbors, devious doppelgangers, and the power of a guttural "FUCK YOU!" warcry. Aired May 6, 2021.

104. All the Ferocious Beasts: Fuckbuddies, get ready for a real watershed moment here on the podcast--Jen + Lillian have their first throwdown, and in true us fashion, it's about something nostalgic and beloved: THE SANDLOT. Waxing rhapsodic about the Great Hambino takes us down a memory lane chock full of devastating Don Bluth movies, cautionary assemblies, and perilous moments in babysitting. Aired April 29, 2021.

103. All the Shrimp Biscuits: A week of chaos has Jen + Lillian searching for our creature comforts--and what better than the smells that make up our best (and worst) memories? From favorite drug store perfumes to the smells of summertime, field trips, and old houses, your intrepid hosts walk you through olfactory nostalgia... and remind you of things you probably don't miss after 13 months indoors. Aired April 22, 2021.

102. All the Eggplant Emojis: Is it a penis, or a sparkling rose gif? A very unfortunate dick pic leads your intrepid heroines down a long and winding road of bodily concerns and medical mishaps! Join Jen + Lillian as we recall our most memorable pelvic exams, beds full of hornets, and how to make a Molotov cocktail with just a tampon and a dream. Aired April 15, 2021.

101. I ❤️ Fuckabees: Sometimes it's spidercast, sometimes it's pelicancast--today, Jen & Lillian bring you beecast... before launching into size politics and white feminism. But that's not all! Join us as we reflect on successful coping mechanisms for old wounds--allowing us to appreciate newfound abundance, closure, and the freedom to grow in unexpected ways. Aired April 8, 2021.

100. All the Pyramid Schemes: Happy 100 Episodes, Fuckbuddies! When your embarrassment podcast celebrates a milestone on April Fools' Day, what's better than detailing our most gullible moments? Cringe with Jen + Lillian as we remember shady gigs, timeshares, diet scams... and even a near-kidnapping or two! Aired April 1, 2021.