hosted by jen ponton + lillian bustle
apple | spotify | youtube | dreading the boards
From glittery Pride stages to dusty Martian plains, this week’s All the Fucks takes you on an emotional rollercoaster. Jen and Lillian dive into dopamine dressing, bizarre Pride encounters, and the magic (and mess) of community stages. Then it’s on to AI overreach in film, creepy tech trends, and the heartbreaking stories of NASA’s Mars rovers (yes, the ones that broke the internet’s heart).
Hear that clickety-clack, fuckbuddies? Join Jen + Lillian in a free-fall rollercoaster frenzy of stickers from our youth, a rabid case of acrophobia, and the jolt of pure adrenaline that is summer! We tumble into a deep dive on vintage scratch-n-sniff stickers, and somehow end up face-to-face with the supernatural “Hat Man.” Along the way, they share amusement park mishaps, bridge-crossing panic hacks, and one truly disastrous anniversary dinner. Plus: AI content slop, cake cravings, and the very specific smell of a dot-matrix printout.
Like a morning glory, today Jen + Lillian discuss a topic near and dear to our hearts: queer late bloomers! As fat femmes, we get really granular with how and why queerness can stay elusive for so long (hint: you know it's fatphobia and misogyny!). We take a gloriously queer stroll down memory lane--through landline nostalgia, the mystery of Garfield phones washing ashore in France, and the rise and fall of novelty bathroom carpets. We swap stories about being fat, weird, and definitely gay long before we knew it, and how mean jocks and misogyny delayed our sapphic bloom. Come for the TED Talk, stay for the wayward perms and butch longing!
It's non-binary awareness week, and Jen + Lillian devote this episode to all the theydys and gentlethems! We dig deep into what it means to navigate the world as queer, fat, neurospicy femmes--while dodging mansplainy repairmen, neurotypical energy vampires, and poorly ventilated comedy clubs. Lillian recounts a maddening encounter with an HVAC technician who tries (and fails) to hijack her recycling. Jen opens up about the complexities of gender presentation and safety, and together we tackle everything from ghost poltergeists learning tech, to Love Island as peak straight culture. Hop on a (basically free) crosstown bus with us as we yap about stranger danger, the gorgeous spirit that is-was-will-always-be poet laureate Andrea Gibson, and how viscerally hot female train conductors are.
It's a kink potluck, fuckbuddies! In this wild ride of an episode, Jen and Lillian tackle everything from AI-generated foot porn and barbershop choir controversies to freeze-dried ass cakes and the GLP-1 fallout. Hear about queer visibility in an ultra-traditional singing competition, why tattoos at dive bars might be a bad idea, and the very real threat of compost-eating rats in NYC. Along the way, we delve into neurodivergent rituals, artisanal porn, and the terrifying new term: “piss-trashing.” This one’s full of juicy tangents, tender moments, and foot-centric chaos.
Where were YOU in 1999, fuckbuddies? Because Jen + Lillian were exactly where you'd look for them: pining, and pining hard. Today we read you excruciating, mortifying passages from our journals, ripped from moments better left forgotten in high school and college. Hear about Secret Admirer fails, drunken Florida men, and some choice poetry from angsty beatnik Lillian Bustle.
It's a wild, expansive midsummer out there, fuckbuddies--and Jen + Lillian are here to sweat it out with you! From Pride events to a brand new Bounce House; from feature films to Y2K dance parties--we get dreamy about all the fun (and boob sweat) to come.
A late-season cold snap brings Jen + Lillian right back to the archives of Jezebel's scary stories! We'll set your spinal stun gun to 'tingle' with tales of nefarious Germans, Amityville apparitions, and sinister Lake Superior. Who wants chili?
Follow your nose, wherever it goes! For Jen + Lillian, it's a walk down memory lane from their salad days at LUSH, a top-secret speakeasy perfume gallery, and the magic of Special Little Treats.
2025: What a time to be alive! Jen + Lillian reconvene after a thrilling off-Broadway production, melt into their couches and watch both good and terrible TV, and grapple with some hard shit.
Happy spoOoOoky Halloween, fuckbuddies! Here’s to another year on the ol’ hayride with Jen + Lillian, with stories to tingle your toes and freeze your bones! But really--is anything scarier than Temu? (Aired October 2024)
It's a new dawn, fuckbuddies--well, maybe? We'll see? Today, Jen + Lillian wax cautiously-optimistic as we discuss the DNC, the agony of confronting your attachment issues, and rage over the decades of buffoonery and quackery that have masqueraded as women's health. Grab your hand mirrors, dive into this episode, and get ready to find your clit! (Aired August 2024)
There's nowhere to go but down when it comes to these delivery apps, Fuckbuddies. Join Jen + Lillian as they break out the Mortified card game, I Can't Believe I Did That, and spin tales of concealed weapons, prom dress flops, jazz hands, and psychotic teachers. (Aired August 2024)
Wrap a flag around you and hop in the Seine, fuckbuddies--today, Jen + Lillian are discussing all things Olympics! From teams who are definitely fucking, to the uncontested Best Event Ever, to the sexual awakening that is women's rugby--your best theatre kid friends are here to make the Olympics hornier than ever. Viva la France! (Aired August 2024)
Ah, summer--let's grab a cold lemonade and let's go mudboggin' fuckbuddies! Today, Jen + Lillian spin cotton candy stories of their favorite farmer's fairs, hometown ho-downs, and county carnivals. We recommend you enjoy this one with snacks, because you're gonna get hungry! (Aired August 2024)
Take a deep breath with us: *Ahhh.* Feel that, Fuckbuddies? That's the absence of 100*+ heat indexes slapping you in the face! Today, pop a cold one as Jen + Lillian safely discuss the perils of our hottest summers from the blissful purgatory of 81* and cloudy. (Aired July 2024)
Fuckbuddies, what is 2024 Face and why is it everywhere? Why are we still wearing heels in Hell? And is Pete Davidson truly likeable? (Answer: absofuckinglutely.) Join Jen + Lillian as we avoid The Thing That Happened and talk about literally anything else! (Aired July 2024)
It's high summer, fuckbuddies--carefree sun, fun, and... Jen + Lillian cowering in this unending heatwave! Welcome to another season (?) of All the Fucks: with even more badass burlesque, queer fabulosity, and titillating theatre than ever before. So jump in a cold shower and let us heat up your summertime! (Aired July 2024)
Bring the holly and jolly with your hosts, fuckbuddies! Today, Jen + Lillian remember disastrous yules of yore, talk perfect gifts (and unforgivable ones), and do some very niche unboxing! (Aired December 2023)
Happy holidays, Fuckbuddies! Well, Jen + Lillian meant to bring the merry and bright, but instead succeeded in bringing the creepy and horny. It's a Christmas Miracle! (Aired December 2023)
Gobble gobble, fuckbuddies! Who are we kidding? Thanksgiving is HARD. Being on Earth is HARD. Come cuddle with Jen + Lillian and listen to us re-regulate and re-parent after a lifetime of holiday trauma! (Aired November 2023)
Now that spOoOoOoky szn is over, Jen + Lillian are nesting cozy and diving deep into some of the best ways to take care of ourselves, through the holidays and beyond. (Aired November 2023)
Happy spOoOoOoky Halloweeeeen, fuckbuddies! We're back with more spine-tingling tales for a very scintillating Samhain! So turn off the lights, grab fistfuls of candy, and remember that wherever you are for Halloween, you are obviously the Sexy Version. (Aired October 2023)